The Cognitive Backyard

Things I Still Want Her to Know

I Still Want Her to Know That I Want To See Her Again

Two weeks have gone by and I still cannot believe you are gone. One and a half-year ago, there were many things I wanted you to know; things I wished I had done differently and things I wished I had told you. Just a year ago, things were so very different. Just a month ago, although the doctors had been telling me otherwise, I didn’t want to believe you were going. I know you respected my eccentric nature and still loved me, but I never desired to be so alone as you have left me to be now. I didn’t want you to respect my weaknesses so much. Continue with reading

The Conquest of Paradise

The conquest of paradise

I have always believed I had a purpose. Ever since I was a little child I used to ask myself often “Why did God create me?”, “What if I didn’t want to be born?”, “What if I wanted a different family?” I have been so far unable to find the answer. I have hardly ever been convinced by what philosophers or clergy has to say about it. After years of search for an answer, I have managed to shut myself up on the concept that human life exists on a delicate balance between predestination and free will. Continue with reading

Compassion and Humanity

I wonder how so many people walk over this earth without any compassion or humanity in their hearts. How we believe that we are so strong, so powerful, and so clever to be able to do anything. How we treat our fellow beings so unfairly and unkindly, so rude and mean to them, and cheat and lie to them oblivious to our own frailty. Continue with reading

Things I Want Her to Know

She calls this room my “hujrah” (cloister / man-cave).

This is my operational room. This is where I monitored the entire 2013 elections, and in the words of my cousin Sidra, “as a one-man army”. This is where I read, I write, I cozy up in to my lonely self and spend time thinking, smoking, taking tea or coffee, use internet, go “social”, do multimedia of all types depending on my mood and just be with myself – most of the time just sit and do nothing. Continue with reading

The Tree of Life

When I originally watched Darren Aronofsky’s The Fountain back in 2006, except for its magical music, I did not really like the movie. The non-linear narrative always confused me and seemed irreconcilable and incoherent for my little brain. The sporadic cuts and flashbacks were not just the only reason I did not quite liked the movie, as a dutiful devout Muslim, I felt really appalled for its Semitic references; the tree of life and the obvious connection to Genesis and Kaballah.   Continue with reading

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