I thought I could never live without her. It was hard to imagine life in a world she didn’t exist. In my mind, such a world never existed. But fate is cruel; it brutally obliterates all that is beautiful and lovely. It destroys every promise without compassion and leaves behind what is only miserable and shameful. Continue reading
The train was already late. I was standing at Platform No. 4 of the Lahore Railway station since 3:30 pm. The clock just struck seven, the train was supposed to be there three hours ago. I had been planning this little visit of Hyderabad, Sindh, for over a year. It was one of the cities in Pakistan I had never been to. The last several months of my life had been like a horrible nightmare. I had spent months imagining this visit as a necessary escapade for my ailing wife. But I had never thought it would be in these circumstances. I stood there at the platform holding only the hand of my little boy, my wife was already gone from this world. Continue reading
There, on the heavenly crossroads, he stood with his head down as his body trembled, tears and sweat dripped from his face like rainfall. The man in the shadow behind his back nudged him and growled, he looked up to the path that winded uphill towards the light and he saw her standing in the pathway. She was beaming with delight, wearing a white cloak and a white headscarf that glowed like first light. Continue reading
Two weeks have gone by and I still cannot believe you are gone. One and a half-year ago, there were many things I wanted you to know; things I wished I had done differently and things I wished I had told you. Just a year ago, things were so very different. Just a month ago, although the doctors had been telling me otherwise, I didn’t want to believe you were going. I know you respected my eccentric nature and still loved me, but I never desired to be so alone as you have left me to be now. I didn’t want you to respect my weaknesses so much. Continue reading
I always told her she was actually in love with a ghost. She used to laugh crazily, and told me “yes, you are no less than a ghost”.
I told her, “look, it’s true that I care a lot about you, but so many years have passed, we have both changed and so has life, you should now forget that once we almost got romantic.”
But she never listened, she was a very stubborn woman. Continue reading
I always wanted to tell you how I became what I am, and why I cannot do things that others expect me to. You have always told me that I am a waste of God-gifted talents, and you are the only one who says this to me so nicely, everyone else believes I am a waste of space. You were completely right in your assessment that I was not born this way. I can go on for hours about how and what made me the way I am but I think what really matters is that you know why I have been plagued by inconsistency. Continue reading
She calls this room my “hujrah” (cloister / man-cave).
This is my operational room. This is where I monitored the entire 2013 elections, and in the words of my cousin Sidra, “as a one-man army”. This is where I read, I write, I cozy up in to my lonely self and spend time thinking, smoking, taking tea or coffee, use internet, go “social”, do multimedia of all types depending on my mood and just be with myself – most of the time just sit and do nothing. Continue reading
He stopped running, breathing heavily, sweat dripping down his face, and threw himself on the ground. A shadow turned around and ran towards him and almost screamed in a melodious, young, worried female voice, “What happened? Are you alright?” He could not say a word in response; he was breathing so heavily, but waved a hand to reassure her that he was alright. Continue reading
When I originally watched Darren Aronofsky’s The Fountain back in 2006, except for its magical music, I did not really like the movie. The non-linear narrative always confused me and seemed irreconcilable and incoherent for my little brain. The sporadic cuts and flashbacks were not just the only reason I did not quite liked the movie, as a dutiful devout Muslim, I felt really appalled for its Semitic references; the tree of life and the obvious connection to Genesis and Kaballah. Continue reading